In Memoriam


After a costly and protracted fight for her life, Entergy Vermont Yankee died today in her Vernon home surrounded by her loving family of control room operators, excavators, legislative lobbyists, NRC inspectors, and media consultants.

Yankee was born in 1968 by unanimous vote of the Central Vermont Public Service Corporation board of directors. Following a family fight at the age of ten, Yankee moved out of her home in Rutland and relocated to Brattleboro in hopes of becoming independent and responsible. Unable to financially support herself, Yankee put herself up for adoption. Custody was awarded to the Entergy family of New Orleans who are notorious for taking in recalcitrant strays.

Because Yankee was brought up in surroundings known for its lack of discipline, her inability to tell the truth resulted in a lifetime of paying fines followed by public apologies. Attempting to remake her image, Yankee’s legal guardians tried to change her name to Nexus in the likely event that if Yankee misbehaved really badly there would be no financial assets for anyone to attach.

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